 What is Foreshadowing?Foreshadowing is a literary device which is an advance hint of something that will happen later in the story. Foreshadowing creates an atmosphere of suspense as the reader continues on with expectations over later events. Foreshadow upcoming events with character dialogue, plot events, and changes in setting. Each method supplies a way to hint to the reader of what is coming. And each instance builds suspense for the reader who wants to know how that dialogue, event, or setting change will lead toward discovery of the killer. Clues as Foreshadowing EventsEach clue your sleuth discovers in a mystery foreshadows the final revelation. But, the mystery writer has a challenge, how to plant the clues without giving away the villain before the end. You want to foreshadow, without foreshadowing. In the mystery novel, you want to tantalize your reader without calling emphasis to the clues that point toward the final discovery. The device works like a secret foreshadowing to keep your reader guessing. Ten Ways to Tantalize Your Reader Invite your reader into the puzzle without giving away the secret of who the villain is. Sequence Diversion – Put the real clue right before the false one. Readers and your sleuth often focus on the last clue presented. If you’re getting started with mystery writing, this tactic is a great place to start. Mention or show the clue first and then immediately focus on a different clue or red herring. Secret Emphasis – Emphasize the unimportant, but de-emphasize the clue. The reader sees the clue but doesn’t see what’s important about it. For example, your sleuth may see the value of a company report and the statistical details but doesn’t look at the man who researched and wrote the report. Before It Counts – Early on, plant the clue before it has any context. Your sleuth may walk by a man cleaning his yacht with chemicals before a business partner dies of toxic chemical poisoning. Carolyn Graham uses this tactic in her Inspector Barnaby mysteries. Missed It – Your sleuth misinterprets the meaning of a clue. The murder took place in a room with open windows. Your detective believes that’s how the murderer escaped. But the windows were open to let in the evening breeze and the murderer escaped through the door and out the back staircase. This is a great tool to use with a flawed sleuth whose flaw keeps her from seeing the real meaning. The Not a Clue – The clue is what isn’t there. Although the sleuth deduces certain actions happened, the real clue is absent. A classic clue that isn’t there is when Sherlock Holmes realizes the dog didn’t bark in “Silver Blaze.” There was no intruder. Piece by Piece – A time-release method to scatter pieces of the clue in different places through the story. Then mix up the logical order. Your sleuth finds an empty aquarium, water but no fish in a suspect’s room. Later on she finds six fish bodies tossed out a window. She has an “epiphany” when she remembers the empty aquarium. In Plain Sight – Create a cluster of clues and squeeze the real clue in with all the others. Hide the clue in plain sight. This technique works well in a story with multiple suspects from Agatha Christie’s Murder On The Orient Express to John D. MacDonald’s hard boiled Travis McGee (pick one). Distraction – Draw your reader’s attention away from the clue. The sleuth and the reader follow a false trail. What seem like the most evident clues are not the real trail to the suspect. In Adrian McKinty’s The Cold, Cold Ground the clues seem to lead toward a serial killer who targets homosexuals. Not the case at all. Time Seed – Create a time problem. A suspect has an alibi for the time of the murder. Later it turns out that the murder was earlier and the alibi does not work. Or the suspect claims a time as an alibi but could get away during the time covered by the alibi. Camouflage with Action – Camouflage a clue with action. Just as your sleuth glances at a scrap of paper on the floor, he’s hit from behind. In the ensuing action and consequences—trip to the hospital, a missed appointment because of time in the hospital, etc.—your sleuth overlooks the clue. Jo Nesbø uses action camouflage in his Harry Høle series. Satisfy Your ReaderForeshadowing with clues is a challenge for mystery writers. Building suspense in other genres with foreshadowing leads to events later in the story, but the reader keeps those foreshadowing moments in mind. The mystery writer needs to subdue the foreshadowing by hiding the clues. At the end, your reader may realize all the clues were there, but while reading you want to keep those clues hidden. Zara Altair Photo by Emiliano Vittoriosi on Unsplash
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 Your Villain Right and WrongThe true pleasure of mystery readers is trying to discover who the killer is before your detective does. It’s the big puzzle and the draw of the genre. The challenge for you as a mystery writer is to create a villain who is understandable, relatable, and yet hidden until the last moment of your mystery. The best approach to understanding your villain is to look at their world view. In the villain’s eyes, their beliefs and actions are justified. The villain may feel unjustly harmed by the victim. Or his killing may feel, to him, like justifiable revenge. Or, her cold-blooded calculation is rational in her belief system. However you conceive the villain’s motivation, throughout the story they will remain firm that their world is correct, and the killing justified. So, your villain is right in their world while wrong in the world of your story. The Villain Portrait in the MysteryThe villain can be a smooth talker, a buffoon, or a monosyllabic thug to the rest of the world and the other characters in your story, but you need to present the villain as he sees himself as you write your story. When he speaks with other characters, especially your sleuth, the villain sees himself as the good guy. He will portray himself that way in the story. You can reveal the villain layer by layer as he moves through the story.
In your background, focus on the relationship between the villain and the victim. Their relationship is the basis for the murder and the sleuth’s involvement. Think of ways the two connected, then the ways things went wrong, and finally the one incident that tipped the villain to murder.
Like any story research, you may use only 20% of the relationship you create. Experienced writers know that rich background allows for opportunities to use details as they are writing. Even, you, the writer, may not know which details you will use in your mystery until you are writing. The Open Good and Hidden BadWriting a believable and concealed villain for a mystery requires consideration of how you present and reveal their beliefs and actions. You may feel that all the clues you plant are obvious because you know who committed the murder, but if you balance the villain’s view of himself and his actions as good, you can save the hidden reality until the final reveal. You sleuth and your readers will appreciate your skill. Zara Altair Photo by ahmed zid on Unsplash  The Victim Drives Your MysteryAlthough your sleuth is the hero of your mystery, the victim drives the story. The sleuth works throughout the story to uncover layers about the victim and the people (characters) involved in the victim’s life. In a traditional mystery, the puzzle pieces the sleuth uncovers are based on the relationship between the victim and the villain. As you construct your story, you reveal the layers of the victim’s life as your sleuth learns more and more about the victim’s world. The Essential Victim BackstoryAs you work to create your character bible for your mystery, the victim holds prominent place right after your sleuth. The more you know about the victim and their world, the easier it is to construct the puzzle of your mystery. Basics you need to know:
To add extra depth to your victim, give them a secret and a lie the same way you do for your other mystery characters. Imagine what you can do with what suspects think they know about the victim when they share with your sleuth. Context and the VictimContext is the most important element in creating your character. When you create your victim character background you create the context for all the characters in your mystery. The victim’s relationship to all the other characters are the elements that help you create the puzzle. As you take your detective and your readers deeper into the story, your detective enters a new world, the victim’s world. As he wanders the victim’s world he gathers bits and pieces of information, meets suspects and in their environment expands his vision of the victim’s world. You need to know this world, in order to guide your sleuth through discoveries. Sometimes, because the victim’s world is new to him, he makes false assumptions or overlooks clues or mistakes a red herring for a clue. At various places in your story, you set up clues for the sleuth that reveal the connection between the victim and the villain. Part of the fun of writing your mystery is hiding those clues to baffle your sleuth and keep your reader guessing. The Base for Your MysteryEven though your victim may play a small part in your story, create a rich background for this all-important character in your mystery. The murder is the incident that sets your sleuth in motion. When you know about your victim and their world, you can pull from a rich resource to unlock relationships with other characters, hide clues that seem unimportant at the time, and slowly reveal the deep connection between the victim and the villain. Zara Altair Photo by DDP on Unsplash  The Counterintuitive Show Clues make up small details in your mystery that point the detective and the reader toward the villain. Detective, crime writer and mystery writing adviser, and Murder.con host Lee Lofland says, Tiny clues are often the ones that bring a case to a close. You want to plant those clues in your story without bringing attention to them. Keep your reader guessing. One of the best ways to hide those clues is with one of the best storytelling methods - show don’t tell. Show Versus TellAs you write your mystery, show what is happening through character responses. These responses can be physical actions or dialogue. Telling is just that. Let’s look at some examples. Tell: The temperature fell. Show: Her nose stung, and she squinted against the sunlight on the snow. Tell: He smelled garlic. Show: He hugged her tight and said, “Oh, the garlic special pizza.” Tell: It was high summer. Show: The sand burned under her feet as she made her way to the ocean. Telling is not always a bad technique. Use it for covering a time lapse between scenes or covering a sequence of mundane events. You don’t need to show everything. If your sleuth needs to travel to another town to follow up a suspect, you don’t need to show her packing, getting to the airport, going through security, getting on the plane, finding a taxi, etc. You’ll bore your reader. Sum it up with, Kelly booked the first flight to Memphis to talk to Watson. The Door to Reader AttentionWhile your reader is concentrating on your story in the actions and dialogue of characters, you display your clue right in the middle of that showing. Surrounding a clue with action or dialogue minimizes its importance at the time. Instead of telling your clue, hide it while you are showing what your character is doing. Using the same examples plus the clue see how the clue gets lost in the showing. Tell: The temperature fell. Clue tell: The suspect’s footprints led to the woods. Show: Her nose stung, and she squinted against the sunlight reflected on the snow beyond a trail of footprints. Tell: He smelled garlic. Clue tell: A notebook on the counter lay open with the victim’s name. Show: He hugged her tight and said, “Oh, the garlic special pizza,” as he saw over her shoulder [victim’s name] in an open notebook on the counter. Tell: It was high summer. Clue tell: The killer lost his beanie in the struggle. Show: The sand burned under her feet as she made her way to the ocean. She stepped on an old beanie to cool her soles for a moment. These examples are simplistic, but highlight how you can combine action and clues to show your reader the story point. Readers Are In For The Ride, Give Them Action Mysteries are puzzles. Readers want to solve the puzzles along with your sleuth. Unless they are reading a thriller (not a mystery), they are disappointed when they guess the villain before the sleuth. Hiding your clue in the midst of showing helps downplay the clue until the moment your sleuth reveals the killer. Zara Altair Join the Killer Writer list for more about writing your mystery from start to finish. Photo by Vincent Brancifortion Unsplash  A Scene is a RevelationA story is a sequence of small moments. The first moment is make or break for getting your reader involved. Writing advice for beginning novelists can be confusing, like to start with a hook or show the hero’s everyday world. It’s easy to go way off track by starting with a sex scene to “grab” reader attention and then go on to something else that proves that first scene is extraneous. Or, in the everyday world the hero wakes up, looks in the mirror in the bathroom complete with a physical description, and then goes to the kitchen to make breakfast. Neither of these devices gets your reader into the story. That’s your job at the beginning. Reassure readers that the story you promised feels like the genre they want, gets your protagonist in action right away, and delivers a dilemma that keeps them reading for more. What Readers Want in the First ChapterReaders want to know your mystery is worth their time and emotional involvement. Deliver the goods up front.
Once you know what needs to be at the beginning, you can start your opening scene. The Opening SceneSo, how do you go from a hook to the protagonist’s ordinary world in a mystery? The best way to navigate that opening scene is through emotional states. Starting with physical details can lead a beginning writer in the wrong direction. Jump right in to how your detective feels. Every scene needs an emotional turn, so starting with a feeling gets your reader onboard emotionally. Start with your sleuth in the middle of something in his everyday world. Give him a want. It can be small - returning spoiled cabbage to the grocery store, attempting to reach a partner/friend/girlfriend. Show his emotions - disgust, anger, eager to connect for tonight’s dinner/bowling night/ date. Show his emotions. Something impedes your sleuth’s progress. Aim to make this happen on the first page. A stranger/opposition/friend asks for help/tells him to drop tonight’s date/pushes him down as they flee (your choice). The stranger can be a key suspect as the mystery unfolds or the murder victim or your sleuth left his weapon at home or lost a phone connection or… Show your sleuth’s emotional response to this interruption. The key is to cause a disturbance, something prickly, in the protagonist’s world. Now you are bringing your reader into the story. Your sleuth and your reader will experience an emotional change from the beginning to the end of the scene. Each emotional response ties your reader to your hero in ways just telling action will not do. Focus on the emotional world of your protagonist. Represent the emotions through action and dialogue. When the protagonist’s emotion change you bring the reader into the story. You Don’t Have to Get it Right, Just Get ItExperienced authors may go back to edit, rewrite, or even change the first scene. On your first round, if you focus on the emotional tenor and the change your sleuth experiences, you’ll be well on your way to bringing your reader into the story. Meet reader expectations right away with genre, tone, main character and a weakness and a strength while constructing a scene based on an emotional shift.
The purpose of story is to give the reader an emotional interpretation of the world. Focus your opening scene on that interpretation. Disturb your character in their world. Give him a prickle. Zara Altair Photo by Joao Ferreira Gomes on Unsplash  Discoveries I Made While Researching The Peach Widow BackgroundEvery story presents new research challenges when writing an historical mystery. For The Peach Widow I needed background on farm dogs, inheritance law, and natural poisons. My first challenge was looking for background on inheritance law concerning a second wife and children by a previous marriage. After all the wonderful and informative responses from scholars about the time of Theodoric in Italy, I was frustratedto discover that Roman Law attorneys have no such enthusiasm for writers. Each one I approached did not respond. When Murder Was Not A CrimeThat drove me to more online research. I made a story-changing discovery as I dug deeper. Murder was not a crime. That means a public crime. No police. No trial. Each family had to deal with the consequences once the murderer was revealed. That gave me a whole new layer for Argolicus as he makes his way discovering a killer. He also had to help the family come to terms with what they could and could not do for recompense. The Big Farm DogThe farm dog, Pup, plays a crucial role in the story. I read about Roman farm dogs and discovered the Pup most closely resembles the modern Dogo Argentino, a big dog breed that originated in Argentina. To arrive at that conclusion I looked at a number of illustrations of both Greek and Roman dogs, read descriptions from the time, and then looked for a modern equivalent. The Natural PoisonAnother challenge was to find a natural poison source that would be readily available to a poor murderer who did not travel far. I needed a substance that grew locally. After researching natural poisons and plants that grow in southern Italy, I identified oleander. I could plant clues early on and bring the poison to light later in the story. Zara Altair  The Hidden Backstory of a MysteryThe villain and the victim are star characters in your mystery. As the story unfolds for the reader the focus is on your sleuth, but the relationship of these supporting characters are the crux of the resolution. In a traditional mystery the puzzle pieces the sleuth uncovers are based on the relationship between the victim and the villain. As you construct your story, you reveal the layers of the victim’s life as your sleuth learns more and more about the victim’s world. At various places in your story, you set up clues for the sleuth that reveal the connection between the victim and the villain. Part of the fun of writing your mystery is hiding those clues to baffle your sleuth and keep your reader guessing. The Relationship WebThe background work you do in character development builds the relationship between the villain and the victim. The more you know about these main mystery characters, the richer your story details will be. The Victim Make no mistake, the victim is a character in your story, not just a dead body. In order for your sleuth to discover the villain, he must understand the victim. Your sleuth explores the victim’s world to find clues and suspects related to the victim’s death. Once the murder is discovered - usually near the beginning of your mystery - your work as a storyteller is to reveal the victim’s character through the eyes of others and the clues. As you develop the character background for your victim, know their relationship with all the suspects, but focus on the relationship with the villain. Create at least two and up to four secrets about the victim. Then reveal them through the story through physical clues and dialogue from other characters. Some secrets may be red herrings that make another character look guilty and at least one will reveal the villain’s identity. The Villain Throughout most of your mystery, the villain is one of several suspects. Create a rich background. You’ll give yourself a variety of puzzle pieces to drop into your story. Go beyond the villain as a character role. Give her a name, a background with relationships, a physical fallibility, and emotional weakness.
In your background, focus on the relationship between the villain and the victim. Their relationship is the basis for the murder and the sleuth’s involvement. Think of ways the two connected, then the ways things went wrong, and finally the one incident that tipped the villain to murder.
Like any story research, you may use only 20% of the relationship you create. Experienced writers know that rich background allows for opportunities to use details as they are writing. Even, you, the writer, may not know which details you will use in your mystery until you are writing. That is why the deeper the relationship background you build between the villain and the victim, the more you have to use at the right moment in your story. The Two Key CharactersThe relationship between the villain and the victim is germane to creating a strong mystery. Without their relationship, there would be no murder. A rich background of their relationship arms you with a variety of ways to hide the villain as a suspect. The more you know about the villain, the more you have to hide in your story. Those hidden clues challenge your reader to solve the puzzle.
Zara Altair Photo by James Wainscoat on Unsplash  The Best Sleuths Have CharacterBeginning mystery writers work hard to get their clues lined up, create suspicious characters, and overall construct a puzzle for the sleuth and readers to solve. It’s easy to forget that readers fall in love with characters. The most important character in your mystery is your sleuth. You want your readers to empathize and sympathize with the dilemmas your sleuth faces. And some of these are of her own making or through no fault of his own. Just because you create a situation does not mean your reader loves your character. If you have your story elements balanced, your one shining star in your story is your sleuth. So, how do you get your readers to love your sleuth? Set Up Your Sleuth to be Loved Your sleuth doesn’t need to be nice to be loved by readers. In fact, a sleuth without flaws is...well...boring. Your reader doesn’t have a way to identify with a perfect hero. Perfection isn’t human. And, your sleuth needs to interact with the environment and other characters. The flaw (s) you give your sleuth can get him into trouble or predispose another character to react. Frailty is human. Give your character ways for your reader to sympathize. Author Chris Fox reviewed these elements that get your readers to love your character. Disadvantage Readers root for an underdog. Give your sleuth a political, economic, or social weak spot. Do poor suspects shun your wealthy sleuth? Is she from the wrong side of the tracks? Does the local power group exclude him keeping him from learning important information? Your sleuth can’t change where he was born, his current economic circumstances, or his anti-corruption stance. Don’t confuse the disadvantage with a flaw. Unlike a flaw like an addiction or a short temper, your sleuth’s disadvantage is a given. She can’t overcome the disadvantage. He can’t hide his disadvantage. Other characters will respond according to their personal prejudices. Because the disadvantage is a given, your sleuth will suffer the consequences. Get the reader to cheer on your sleuth. The more your sleuth suffers from the disadvantage the greater the reader empathy. Context Your reader makes a value judgment about your sleuth by how he compares to other characters in the story. If your sleuth is smart, pit her against someone smarter. If he is strong, another character is stronger. Give him a moment of hesitation when a quick-tongued suspect outmaneuvers him. Your reader will adjust their perception and root for your sleuth. The more you challenge your sleuth’s abilities with other characters, your reader will sympathize and want your character to prevail. Vulnerability Show your sleuth’s weakness in a believable way. Let your tough guy cry when a plastic toy reminds him of his child who died. Or her best friend’s bout with cancer. The surest way to get a reader to love your sleuth is to show her frailty. You only need one instance in your story, but make your sleuth vulnerable. Show your reader that he’s not on top of it all the time. Dig Deep into Your CharacterThe best place to create the disadvantage, vulnerability, and strengths that show up in context is the background work you do in character development. Make your sleuth as human as possible. Yes, she has strengths that make her a good detective, but make sure you create those human characteristics that make her vulnerable.
When the elements of strength, disadvantage, and vulnerability are integral to your character, your reader knows your character and sympathizes. If you try to tack on a vulnerability, your reader will notice, not sympathize, and stop reading. Avoid those reader Aw, come on moments by creating a rich character background. You’ll have a believable character that your reader will love. Zara Altair Photo by Nik MacMillan on Unsplash  Don’t Forget to Tell A StoryMystery readers love a good story. So when you are constructing your mystery, hiding clues, planting red herrings, or making a suspect look suspicious don’t forget the story comes first. The strongest stories have well-developed themes, engaging plots, suitable structure, memorable characters, well-chosen settings, and attractive style. For best results, build strength in all areas. Have you ever read a mystery where all the elements seemed to be there but the story fell flat? You felt dissatisfied at the end and couldn’t put your finger on the reason? The writer may be clever at constructing the mystery but didn’t tell a good story. When you are writing on your notebook or typing in your word processor, it’s easy to forget the reader who wants a good story first. You can keep your storytelling alive as you write by imagining you are telling the story to one person. I tell my stories to my daughter who likes mysteries and Roman history. Story ElementsYour story comes alive through multiple avenues. Use all the elements to round out your story and keep readers engaged until they arrive at a satisfying conclusion. Style and Tone The style and tone are the voice of your story. This is where imagining telling your story to that one reader helps. Think of yourself sitting by the campfire, or in the kitchen, or in the car on a long road trip - any place where the two of you are together with time to tell the story. Match your style and tone to your mystery subgenre. Is it fast paced action? A police procedural? A cozy? Tell your police procedural in a more clipped and straightforward style than a cozy where it is OK to be relaxed and comfy. Your style and tone sets the mood for your story. Readers know from the first page how the story will feel. Keep it consistent with your story from beginning to end. Changing style and tone in your story confuses the reader. The beginning sets expectations. If you don’t meet those expectations, they may stop reading. Plot The plot centers on the obstacles and conflicts your sleuth encounters as he struggles to find the solution. These are the reversals, twists, and threats that surprise readers and keep them engaged. Twist - a change that takes the reader in an unexpected direction. Reversal - a reversal takes the story in the opposite direction to what the reader expects. Threat - a moment of heightened danger either physical or emotional. Speed up the pace with more conflict, slow it down with fewer conflicts. Use these obstacles in both your main story and in any subplots. Story Structure Structure your story with a beginning, middle, and end. Get your reader involved in the story as quickly as possible. The first page is the best place to bring in your reader. Introduce your sleuth and the murder then set the sleuth on her discovery path. The first half of your middle is all about discovering suspects and clues. The second half of the middle is about eliminating the false clues and suspects one by one. In the conclusion, your sleuth pinpoints the killer and confronts them. Then tie up any loose ends. Characters Know your characters, especially your sleuth. Balancing character strengths and weaknesses are key to the difficulties of the conflicts your create. Give each suspect something they want to hide to heighten suspicion. When you have a solid foundational understanding of each character, they respond to each story situation according to their personality. You’ll find the more you know about a character the easier you’ll be able to create those twists, reversals, and threats. Setting Ground every scene in a specific place. Don’t expect your readers to know. Make your characters interact with the surroundings even if it is something as simple as getting out of the rain or suffering from heat. Know your setting as well as you know your characters. The setting will function as another “character” in your mystery. Story Elements Keep Your Reader ReadingThe rich details of your story build the sense of place and the feeling that the reader knows the characters. As a storyteller, your job is to engage the reader and lead them on to the next scene. Do this scene by scene so the story builds on what happened before. Use all the story elements to lead your reader into each scene while leading them to want to know what happens next. Story is the magic that keeps readers turning pages.
Zara Altar Photo by Mike Erskine on Unsplash  Discovery and Your SleuthOnce a crime is discovered and your sleuth takes on finding the killer, his next step is to unearth possible suspects. As he visits close friends, work colleagues, the coffee shop owner where the victim went each morning, your sleuth begins to create a picture of the victim’s world. The picture your sleuth develops is like the blind men and the elephant. Each person he interviews has their own version of who the victim was and how the victim operated in the world. As a writer, you lead your reader through a maze of conflicting perceptions about the victim. In a mystery novel, the discovery process occurs in the first half of the middle up to the midpoint. Your sleuth collects evidence and attempts to sort out the victim’s life through interviews with the people attached to the victim, the suspects. The main way your sleuth interacts with those suspects is through dialogue. This is your opportunity to play. Dialogue in DiscoveryYour sleuth learns about the suspects through their demeanor, dress, and actions. But, dialogue is the most direct way you can set up your mystery. Every suspect has their personal secrets. As your sleuth asks questions, the suspect works to keep the secret a secret. The secret may or may not bear on the victim’s death. Your sleuth, and your readers, must interpret what each suspect says to discover the truth. Your job as a writer is to make each suspect as suspicious as possible. What they say and how they act toward the sleuth creates the suspicion. You have several avenues to use in dialogue to heighten the suspicion.
Enhance your suspect’s dialogue by giving each suspect a unique voice. Social position, craft or occupation, family heritage, and personality influence how they speak. Color the dialogue with the suspect’s unique attributes. Doing so, you will minimize your need to add dialogue tags. The reader will know who is speaking. A Middle Without A SagThe discovery process in a mystery sets out the puzzle pieces. In this section of your mystery novel, the sleuth is gathering information, collecting the pieces. He is nowhere near solving the mystery, and neither is your reader.
Each scene with a new suspect is a chance to plant doubt in your reader’s mind. Dialogue with each suspect reveals more of the victim’s world as your sleuth tries to understand the victim and why they were killed . As you raise questions in the reader’s mind, you build conflict for the sleuth and keep readers turning pages. Need more help with your mystery? Coaching can help you get to The End. http://bit.ly/MysteryWritingCoach Zara Altair |
Zara Altair, Author The puzzle of politics, the mystery of murder in ancient Italy. After Rome, before the Middoe Ages, Italy belonged to the Ostrogoths. |
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